The Lord is my Shepherd

The Lord is my Shepherd.

My next vivid recollection is when I was back in Colorado. My sister and I both had a horse. My horse was buckskin named Chino and my sister’s horse was a palomino we called Shad.

Chino had grown up in Colorado with other horses in a pasture all of his life. Shad on the other hand was a show horse, born and bread in California, kept in a stall of his very own and pampered by many.

When we moved to Colorado and Mom’s new carrier included a house with a large pasture, it seemed silly to board the horses’ hours away when we could have them practically right outside the front door.

The house and the pasture was all on the side of a Mountain, I mean that literally, the only real flat spots were where the buildings and parking lot was. To get to the horses from the yard was a very steep slope. There was a set of wooden steps from the yard to the top of the retaining wall with a garden gate to enter the top of the pasture. Then there was a set of steps poured out of concrete from the top of the retaining wall to the foot of the retaining wall, which put us on the same footing as the horses.

This worked out well for me as a 13 year old girl as I was able to go out and see my horse at any time night or day that I felt the need to see my best friend. I also walked through the pasture to get to and from the school bus.

One winter the snow came much heavier than usual. We even helped provide hay to the people who flew it up by helicopter to feed the dear and elk to help to keep them from starving.

One night we herd strange noises outside. It was very late and it was windy and cold. We went outside to discover that Shad had walked up the stairs out of the pasture and was in the front yard. The noise we heard was Chino calling him.

The wooden steps that Shad had walked up were old and had many holes in them. The fact that he had walked up the stairs without catching a hoof and breaking a leg was a miracle. With how steep the slope from the yard to the retaining wall and the wire over the retaining wall and the 4+ foot drop from the top of the retaining wall, combined with how a horse is designed, we could not go down that was. A horse is heavier in the hindquarters than in the front quarters. It is easier for then to scramble up a hill than go down one. In the same way a human cannot go down stairs head first on all fours, trust me I tried and spent the time in the hospital to prove it. If the wire had not run across the top of the retaining wall, and if it had not been the middle of the night so Shad could see what he was doing, and if the only path down not over the horses knees in snow wasn't the stairs. I suppose it is possible that Shad could have gotten himself down on his own.

As we all loved Shad as a member of the family it was not even an option that we would allow him the chance to hurt himself trying to get back to his friend. We went in many directions to catch Shad, to make sure Chino would not try to follow, to see what our options were.

We discovered that Chino was not even contemplating going up the stairs. Perhaps because he had been in a pasture with other horses his whole life he knew that it was not possible, that a horse does not go up stairs.

We found that we had no way to get Shad back into the pasture that night. We caught Shad who was acting so very proud of himself, as he did when he “got away with something”. We threw a little extra hay to Chino to keep him occupied and finally decided to put Shad in the trailer for the night to keep him out of trouble and gave him some hay to eat until Dad could plow out the gate in the morning so we could Shad back in the pasture.

What does this teach me about God?


We are humans, we give so much, and so deeply for these animals, who provide nothing to the family fortune. They do no work and make no profit. The cost the family a great deal, the cheapest thing about a horse is buying one. Yet we gladly give our hearts, our time and our money for them. I spent many a night by the side of my horse, spent my last dollar to by a new halter and the majority of the items I have purchased at gem shows were to adorn my horse. Why do I do this? For love. I would and have gone into dangerous situations to help a horse. I have run into traffic to save a horse I have never seen before. What do I expect to get out of it? Nothing.

Again I tell you that I am only human, far from perfect, with so many faults I could not count them on 100 peoples hands, and if I am able to love not only my horses, my herds, without looking to what they make for me. Not based on how they perform for me, or how hard they work or how much they produce. How much more do you suppose the one who is perfect, who is God, loves his flock, loves me, loves you, just because of who you are, not on how you perform or how much you produce, or even if you through him off now and then. He is PERFECT; do you know what that means?

When Chino would not come to me when I wanted him, it would make me crazy, especially if it was to get his hooves shod or to see the Vet. I knew that it was for his own good and was in his best interest, Chino did not care, and he had other plans and would come only in his own time.

We are like that stubborn horse with God. He calls us and wants to take care of us. However, where I would get mad or impatient and try to trick Chino, God has perfect patience, He does not get mad or vengeful, and He does not try to trick us or undermine us. He will use what openings that we give Him to show us that He is waiting for us and that He loves us and wants to help us. He will take any little opening we give Him to soothe us and remind us He is patiently waiting for us to choose to come to Him.

Our lives are a learning experience. I am beginning to see that what I have been learning is how it is that God loves. For every time I go back and look at my past and see the love I have, I was given, that I saw someone give to someone else or that love that I share I see God and begin to see the lesson on how he loves us.

When I look back at the times of pain and sadness I look for God and in the cases where someone brought me pain it becomes easier for me to see the pain in the person and see God with me as he loves me through the moment. These are harder lessons, though not as hard as the ones where I am angry especially where I think I am angry with others.

I begin to find that my anger with others has little to do with others and more to do with me. As I really look at the anger issues, what am I angry about, what am I accusing the person of, what has set me off. I begin to find the issues are my own, I am accusing the person of my own faults, what has set me off is my own feelings. When I really dig down into the anger what I find at the core of it? Pain, fear, a scared and lonely child, but the Lord is my Shepherd, he leads me through these dark places, and I am never alone. Only He can restore my soul and lead me beside the still waters.

The boundaries that he sets for me are gossamer thin and it is hard for me to see them still. I believe that they will become more substantial as I become more attuned to his still small voice. I long for those boundaries to guide me and keep me safe. I want to reach the house with lights on and the people inside, however, I do not need the adventure of testing the fences each day looking for one to give way, just to see if God will still be waiting for my return. I know He will always be waiting for me. He will always be by my side ready to carry me home.

What can you learn from the lessons of your past? What has God been trying to teach you?

The Lord is Your Shepherd.

The Lord is My Sheppard

What a simple phrase, we have all heard it at one point or another. The Lord is my Sheppard. It has been going through my mind for days. Sometimes I go as far as The Lord is my Sheppard I shall not want, however, usually I stop with The Lord is my Sheppard.

Such a simple phrase, so short, so seemingly out of date. Maybe it is because I have have been in charge of so many animals in my life that it begins to draws a poignant parallel to me.

Each time the phrase comes to my mind I think of another time in my past where I was taking care of animals in my childhood. .

It started with when I was staying on the goat farm one summer with my aunt and uncle. I loved to help the little girl who lived there and was in charge of the goats.

The goats would get out of the fences almost daily. They were intelligent animals and always seemed to be getting into trouble. If there was a single spot in the fence that was week or broken they would find the breach or weakness and extract themselves to roam into the areas beyond the pastures we had put them. Laura was patient and always of a kind spirit. She did not get mad at the creatures, she did not blame them or accuse them of trying to make her work harder. The escape was not something that they did to her but just part of the goats nature.

It was an adventure to seek them out and figure out how they got out this time. If blame was to be placed the blame was on the fact that the family did not have the money to be able to provide to materials to replace all of the fencing to the quality to secure the goats properly. She new her limits as well as the nature of her charges. It would do no good to blame the creatures or try to make them be other than who and what they were. At the same time to get fed up with them and wait for them to come home on there own, as chances are they would as they would wish to be feed and want to be milked as there udders would become uncomfortable, would be taking a risk and do them a disservice.

What if we left them to roam on their own and they got onto the road and got into the way of a vehicle and was hurt, killed or hurt or killed a human? What if a predator(s) found them and pulled one or more of them down. Not only would we loose a source of income for her and her family but also a creature that she loved and cared for. Each one of her goats was named, with it's own personality and place in the heard and in her heart. To loose even one would be a blow to her heart even more than to her families finances.

What does this recollection show me?

It takes me back to what we did. When we found a breach in a fence we would  fix it first with all our young 12 year old capabilities so that the rest of the heard could not escape. At that point we did not have to worry so for the creatures that were now safe and we could focus on the creatures that were loose and running wild. With joy and, yes some frustration, we would begin to coax, cajole, herd, and slowly move the roaming  inmates towards home. They would try and make a few feints towards other outcrops, to test our resolve to take them home. It would seem that once they had tested us and new that we were in earnest to take them home they would resign themselves to comply and would go home meekly until the next outbreak could be planned.

When we put the recalcitrant critters back with there brethren the young ones would kick up there heals and play with there fellow kids and the older nannies would act as nothing had happened and would return to grazing.

We were just happy to have the entire herd back together and safe in one place. Now we could go about our own games as 12 year old girls do.