SnowFlakes Poem

Snowflakes Poem


Christine Fitzgerald









Sometime if this winter you go

Abroad to see the falling snow -

You will find to your surprise

That a trillion flakes will greet your eyes.



Swirling, dancing in the day,

Who could make them quite this way?

Each one new, six sides on all,

Each reflects light as they fall.



No two ever found alike

With lace and rays and sculptured spike.

Here one moment, then they melt,

But what a silent scene is felt!



Discern in those dear tiny flakes

The face of God who nature makes

To please His children and show His love

To all the world from heaven above.

Snowflake

Snowflakes falling from the sky

Help remind us exactly why

Christmas came so long ago

Cleansing the earth like each new snow

 

One pure, unique, and perfect form,

Who came to earth to withstand the storm.

Each snowflake melts as does the ice,

But we can’t forget the sacrifice;

 

So display this symbol of the season

To recollect what gives us reason

One pure, unique and perfect form,

Who came to earth to transcend the storm.

"In God We Trust" Save our History

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Weddding Thoughts

As my Mother and I sat looking at already made snowflake gum paste cake
decorations last night my sister, Tabitha, said something that really
struck home. "Yes, it might be cheaper to buy them but I think she
would miss out on the experience of making them." I may have miss-remembered her exact words but the sentiment is there.



It really started me to thinking as it had given voice to what I had been trying to vocalize for what seems all my life.



Others I know are very into the 'Ta-Da' of an event and

I am more into the memories of creating the event. I know that it would

be easier, and possibly even cheaper, to buy the items

for
the wedding. However, there are no memories in store bought items,
unless the going to the store to buy them is made an adventure and made
a memory.



My sister loved to ride the horses in the shows and
always looked so wonderful. What I remember most is Dad making the
peaces of armor for her costume and getting her boots on and grooming
horses. The happy times we spent together. I also remember going around
to the other horse owners and learning about the different breads and
helping them out with the tack and filling water buckets.



We
need the people who love the 'Ta-Da' because they make everything so
beautiful and special. They show us all that can be possible at the end
of the journey. They give us a reason to want to take the journey in
the first place.



I know who I am now. I am not the 'Ta-Da'
person. I am the person along the journey who wants to stop at all the
roses and encourage others to look at them with me. To me it is not the
destination but the journey that makes all of the difference.



The
wedding is only one day. However, I have over 140 wondrous days to
build a solid foundation with my "to be" husband and step son. Time to
make memories and start traditions for a new family.



Time is
precious and it is really all that we have to give when you really get
down to it. It is our most valuable commodity. A wedding is one day.
This marriage is for a life time and my deepest desire is that it be
filled with meaningful memories.



I do hope that everyone feels welcome to join us in building those special memories. As my Mother and I sat looking at already made snowflake gum paste cake decorations last night my sister, Tabitha, said something that really struck home. "Yes, it might be cheaper to buy them but I think she would miss out on the experience of making them." I may have mis-remembered her exact words but the sentament is there.

It really started me to thinking as it had given voice to what I had been trying to vocalize for what seems all my life.

Others I know are very into the 'Ta-Da' of an event and
I am more into the memories of creating the event. I know that it would
be easier, and possibly even cheaper, to buy the items
for the wedding. However, there are no memories in store bought items, unless the going to the store to buy them is made an adventure and made a memory.

My sister loved to ride the horses in the shows and always looked so wonderful. What I remember most is Dad making the picies of armour for her costume and getting her boots on and grooming horses. The happy times we spent together. I also remeber going around to the other horse owners and learning about the differnet breads and helping them out with the tack and filling water buckets.

We need the people who love the 'Ta-Da' because they make everything so beautiful and special. They show us all that can be possible at the end of the journey. They give us a reason to want to take the journey in the first place.

I know who I am now. I am not the 'Ta-Da' person. I am the person along the journey who wants to stop at all the roses and encourage others to look at them with me. To me it is not the destination but the journey that makes all of the difference.

The wedding is only one day. However, I have over 140 wonderous days to build a solid foundation with my "to be" husband and step son. Time to make memories and start traditions for a new family.

Time is precious and it is really all that we have to give when you really get down to it. It is our most valuable comodity. A wedding is one day. This marrage is for a life time and my deepest desire is that it be filled with meaningful memories.

I do hope that everyone feels welcome to join us in building those special memories.

Random Thoughts

Why is it so hard to get people to talk to one another? Why don't people come out and say what they mean and mean what they say?

Communication and fear seems to be what is so very wrong with the world. People don't talk and they live in fear. If you want to know something ask, or look it up and then talk about it.

There is so much information out there in the world if we only knew a little of what was available to us we would be so much further ahead. It is amazing to me the number of people who are content to live in there ignorance. Is it that they truly believe that ignorance is bliss?

It seems to me that ignorance is fear. The more you know the less there is to be afraid of and the only real weapon out there is fear. The only thing that stops us from accomplishing the greatest things in life is fear. Fear that we won't succeed, fear that we will let someone down, fear that we will get hurt, fear that we will be alone, fear that we will are not good enough, fear that we are not smart enough, and so on.

What is the one way that we can over come all of these things? Knowledge, it lets us know that we can do the things, it gives us the ability to go forth and concur the fear. Knowledge in what you might ask. Personally I think it is knowledge in God. That he is watching over me and that Jesus is right beside me and the Holy Spirit lives within me. That truth means that I need not fear anything for that basic truth means that I can not fail and I am not ever alone. I am smart enough and good enough to do what ever God has designed me to do.

If for some reason you do not believe in God, then I give you another form of knowledge. One of science and books. It is proven that that which is unknown we fear. So go out and learn, read, find friends who remind you that you are more than you have allowed yourself to believe. Tell your inner critic to take a hike and don't come back because you wouldn't be here if you weren't valuable and hey, would I love you and want to spend my time with you if you weren't smarter than the average human? We all have something to offer if we can get past the fear and garbage and start to live life as it was meant to be lived.

Life is a wondrous place with so many things to be explored and learned. Never stop learning, loving or laughing.

Crystal Snowflakes

I finally managed to upload some pictures of the crystal snowflakes that I have been working on to add to the decorations that my Aunt and Uncle have been so wonderful to allow me to borrow for the wedding.

Here is one that I made out of 18 gauge wire by twisting the strands together in the middle and adding glass beads and using fresh water pearls.

Overcoming School Trials

Let me say first of all that these blogs are often written as I am thinking so they may come out a little disjointed as revelations come to me as I write.

I had a couple of set backs and a triumphs this past couple of weeks. Others may not view either as much, but I do.

I have been following a plan that God gave me to apply to a school in PA called the Global School of Supernatural Ministry with Global Awakening www.globalawakening.com. I have been excited about this whole prospect and I would like to share what has been happening in my world.

My first set back was a minor one when I filled out the application as God lead me to do but I did not send it in nor did I send out the endorsement requests. I began to get antsy and feel heavy and down. I did not know why at first until I started to ask God why I was feeling bad and I got the impression that I was not obeying Him. So I made a promise to mail in the application and fill out my portion of the endorsements and give them out to the appropriate people.

On my way to work that morning I realized that I was scared that God would indeed make school happen. I mean, I have no money, no way to pay for school, even if I had the money for the tuition I still have to pay my portion of the rent down here, my car payment, a place to stay up in PA, my partnerships with the ministries I have agreed to support, insurance on my car and food, it will cost at a minimum $20,000 for me to go to school. I know that God can make this happen. How, God can do anything he wants to do.

So why was I scared He would make it happen? Because I have always failed at school and so that old spirit of fear was attacking me again. So I had fallen into my first trap and set back on this path of God’s plan.

The triumph was that I recognized it so quickly and was able to ask for forgiveness and decree that the spirit of fear has no place in my life. God does not set his children up to fail. He would not give me more than I could handle. God watches over me, Jesus guides me and the Holy Spirit is in me. It is true that I can do nothing on my own; however, I am not alone. I will never be alone for the Holy Spirit is in me always and with God I can do anything. Together we can move mountains. There is no way that I can fail if it is God’s will that I succeed. I consider that a tremendous triumph. Once I figured all of this out, asked for forgiveness and began to talk to God about all of his wonders and thank him for His insight I found I could not stop praising Him and I was over the moon happy and felt as light as a feather.

My next stumble came when I thought that others did not believe in me. I let the spirit of doubt and confusion enter me as this was a person whom I held in high esteem and I know walks close with God. I do not blame this person, for each person walks there own path and MUST do what God leads them to do. No where in the Bible does it say that our journey in Christ is going to be easy or comfortable.

I believe that God was using the people I love to show me that I am still trying to lean on my own understanding and not coming to God first for my answers. I bless them and praise them for following there hearts and there beliefs to bring there concerns to me and for allowing God to use them to strengthen me for his mighty work. Thank you so much for having faith in me and trusting in God. He works in us all to strengthen each other in ways we do not always understand at the time.

The situation:

I live with Mike; I have lived with Mike for close to four years. I have talked to God and he has set our wedding date. It is December 27th 2008. I have asked him repeatedly if he wants me to get married sooner and have the wedding in Dec. and he has always said no. I do not know why he has said this.

I have asked God if he wants me to leave Mike and he has said no. When I try and use logic and reason I can come up with so many arguments as to why I should either marry Mike today or move out. If God were to tell me that is what he wants me to do I would do as he asks me. However, that is not what he is telling me. God has made it clear that he has made me pure and whole. I am a virgin re-born when I was made new in the Holy Spirit.

Though we live together we do not live in sin, I live my life in and for God. The Holy Spirit has made we whole and strong to the point that I have no desire to NOT remain Chaste.

I can see the point for not wanting even the idea or suspicion of sin on someone going to school for leading people to God. Even though Mike and I are doing nothing wrong it would be easy for evil to use the situation to make trouble due to the semblance of sin.

I do understand why others would feel the way they do. I understand that the very semblance of sin is what they wish to avoid, I would like to avoid that also.

At the same time it has been such a revelation and a healing to me to learn that with the Holy Spirit I have no desire to break or loose my virginity until my wedding might. I think that God is teaching me that I am worth more than my sexuality. That I can live, love, and thrive without it. That being a sheep does not mean I am a mindless d roan but a faithful follower who has the desire to do God's will because we can hear the still small voice and follow it.

God has a plan and I am content, no joyful, to abide in his plan. It is only when I questioned his plan and his timing that I stumbled and allowed doubt and confusion into my life.

I believe the questions were brought up for a reason. Maybe to get Mike and I to talk, but more likely for for me to talk to God and become more convinced of what God’s plan is for me for today. So that I am sure in abiding in this plan of his that is so outside the box of the normal ways of doing things. I have said that I will leave my life and my house and family, and God has "but will you stay?, will you stand against the doubts of others and the fingers and the ones who know you and say that you of all people can't do it?" My answer is YES. I will do whatever God asks me to do where ever He asks me to do it.

God is wonderful for his timing and for bringing up questions and situations in a small place with friends and loved ones where we can share and express our feelings and thoughts without being totally laid open. God’s timing is so perfect that he knows where we are fragile and just like a metal smith knows where to hammer on the weak point in the metal to make it stronger he is hammering out the imperfections in my character to make me stronger and more resilient so that when he sends me out to face the enemy I do not break when the true test of strength comes.

Blessed is the Lord for he is the one who knows all of our strengths and weaknesses and exactly how best to temper us to do his mighty deeds.

I also understand that not everyone will have the ability to live this way and we should not lead others into a situation that they may not be able to handle. Not everyone has a friend and future partner that respects and believes in them the way that Mike respecters and believes in me.

I do not ask that anyone do anything they do not feel comfortable doing in God. I know that it have a great and wonderful destiny with God. If God wants me to go to GSSM He will make it happen. If he wants me to go this year He will work that out as well.

My job is to do what he tells me to do when he tells me to do it and continue to learn all that he has to teach me, and I will continue to do my best to walk this path every day.

I will make mistakes and I know that God is wonderful, forgiving and full of Grace. He has tremendous patience and I know he has a great sense of humor. He puts up with me and all I can say is it’s a good thing I am cute and I am so blessed that he loves me so.

It took me a week to turn to God to find out why I was upset and not feeling well when I had not turned in the application for school. It only took me a day to get settled after turning to God to find out what was going on and hear Him on the living and marriage situation.

That is a triumph in my book. God is so wonderful and patient.

Why am I putting this out here so that the whole world can know what is going on in my life?

That is easy. Because God is wonderful and I want everyone to know just how wonderful. He has made so many changes in my life just sense Easter and he is going to be making many more. I want everyone to know how wonderful God is and how much he has changed my life. He can change your life also, all you have to do is ask him. He is waiting for you, he wants you, he loves you so very much.

God has re-made me

I went to a wondrous conference called Voice of the Profits where God called me to re-dedicate myself to Him. I felt the pull to go forward so strong it was almost like a physical pull.


The next day we went to lunch at the house with a couple who had gone to school at Global Awakening and again I felt a pull to skip the afternoon session and just stay and talk to this wonderful couple because I wanted to ask questions and felt that they could help me.

I am so grateful that we stayed. Paul and Kristy are so open to God and willing to walk with him that it must be so easy for God to work through them. Kristy even mentioned that I needed to download when we first mentioned skipping the afternoon sessions.

God showed Paul that my biggest wound was around me accepting God's love. God showed Paul that the reason that I have always felt that I have a heart to love the world and why I can be with the most desperate of people and love them and be loved by them even though I did not love myself is because Jesus has always used me as a conduit to love others.


I have never had a problem being used. I had a problem believing that I had any worth to allow some of that love to leak through and bleed into me. I knew that God loved me, I didn’t know why. I may have been hurt by those I have loved because I did not have the full protection of God’s perfect will. I may have allowed myself to be used by those that I love until I have given every last bit of me until I am on the verge of collapse, not knowing that it is not my own heart but the heart of God that I was/am supposed to be spreading. Not realizing that I should not be looking to man to re-fill my "Tank" but just to love God and let his love, peace, and Joy flow to me and and it overflows me it will leak out of me and to everyone else.

God has re-made me. I get to have my virgin wedding night. When I was filled with the Holy Fire I was cleansed by the Holy Fire and all Sin was washed away with my repentance and
surrender. When God recreated me He recreated me entirely from head to toe. As I walk with God I hear his voice and have no desire to follow the voice of the deceiver.

The change he is making in me is amazing I have more love to give than ever before because for the first time I love myself. I have seen myself with Gods eyes and I am amazingly beautiful. How could I not love any creation of God's that he takes such joy in and obviously loves so much?

The other amazing thing is that it is not a carnal love at all. What I mean is that I am having no issue at all with keeping my virginity until my wedding day. God wants me to spend my time with him and he gives me the strength to do as he desires. Would he still love me if I stumbled? Yes, Do I have any desire to Stumble? No, for I am his sheep and I know his voice and he leads me not into temptation. I am a Princess in the Royal Kingdom of God this is my time to learn how to be treated and to react as his beloved Princess.

I learn more and more about what God has done for me every day as he reveals things to me and I am more and more amazed at his love and generosity towards us all.

Dance Class

We have a date December 27, 2008 and we have a theme, Winter Snowflake. The colors will be silver, sapphire blue and white, no surprise for any one. The decorations are taken care of for the most part. I want to make some beaded snowflakes to add to the reception. We plan to have a candle light Service. Because the Church has few windows the service can still be held around 2 in the afternoon.

Mike and I are taking dance lessons. I have always dreamed of dancing at my wedding and I am so happy that Mike is willing to do this for me.
Dance class is fun so far. We have only been once and after my initial melt down, because I was not getting it fast enough, the teacher was really great and slowed things down for me. It turns out that Mike and I both need to take things slower. It is really cool that we are at the same level. While the rest of the class was doing there thing Mike and I were working on our box step.

This may sound boring to the rest of you but I could not stop beaming at Mike. I felt like I was glowing I was so happy to just dance in a square holding Mike’s hands. I don’t think I have ever felt as in love or as close to Mike as I did at that moment. We would trip and start giggling at each other and it was the most wonderful feeling in the whole world.

The teacher would have us come back in from time to time when the rest of the class was also doing a box step variation but going back to our remedial box step really helped my confidence in letting go and following Mikes lead. Just taking the time to relax and train the muscles to know which foot to use depending on what signal mike gives makes a big difference. I really like not having to be in control all of the time.

I find that a bit of a surprise as I tend to be a control freak. I think I am a control freak because I think I have to be not because I want to be. I like being able to trust someone else to lead and take care of me for a change.

I think I begin to understand what it is talking about in the bible when they say that the wife is to obey. It is not that she is an unthinking slave but that a good marriage is like a dance. I you both try to lead you will trip over each other and crash. So the man leads as he is the one with the physical strength to guard you from getting hurt and the lady follows, if she chooses. It is always her choice to follow.

If she does follow you can have a beautiful dance together. That does not mean he will never trip or allow her to stumble but he does his best. If the frame is strong she can support him when he trips just as he supports her when she trips and they can protect each other. Even when she does follow she has the ability to communicate and make the dance more or less than it is. It boils down to team work and constant communication.

Talk about your group therapy! I think dance class, especially ballroom dance class, can do as much for people looking at getting it into a long term relationship or marriage as many of the communication courses or couples classes offered today and has the added benefit of being a good work out and a lot of fun.

God Healing My Voice

I have known all of my life that God gave me a voice to sing for Him. Now that God has tapped me on the shoulder to remind me that He has been waiting for me and He wanted me to come back to him I figured it was more than time for me to pick up my singing that I had dropped back in college.

I started college to be a voice major, opera to be exact as it was the closest thing to the kind of music that I sang growing up in the Lutheran Church and that is when my voice sounds the most beautiful and it is what I love. About a year and half into college I was getting sick all of the time to the point that they removed my tonsils. Even after the operation I still had issues with my throat. Add in several other incidents and a rebellious stubborn nature I ended up quitting school and pretty much throwing that part of my life away.


Now 20 years later I decided to start singing for God again.


To my utter dismay as soon as I started singing I got a sore throat and became horribly sick. I let my throat heal, if you have ever taken singing you know you don’t sing with a sore throat you could do permanent damage, and then I tried again a few days later and I got another soar throat, though this time I did not get so sick. I started to ask God what was going on. I knew deep in my soul that I was supposed to sing for God. So I started to look back over my life and I talked to a friend in the Church who asked if I had ever been cursed or anything. As I talked to her and I began to realize that over the last 20 years every time that I started to sing something would happen to my health that would cause me to quit and doubt my ability to sing more and more.

I made an appointment with my Dr. to find out what was going on with my throat. My father died of interstitial lung disease, a genetic strain of the disorder, so I am cautious of anything that could affect my lungs especially as I have had so many horrendous bouts of bronchial pneumonia and deal with asthma already.

When I went to the Dr., she could not find anything that was not allergy related so she recommended that I go see an ear, nose, and throat Dr. and she happened to know one that specializes in singers.

What I found out at the ENT was that I had sMTD (Supraglottic Muscle Tension Dysphonia). Well, that is what the Dr. called it. *Shrug* As soon as Dr. Chang, the ENT, explained what sMTD was and how it worked I knew right away what it really was. It was fear. Basically it means that I am trying to sing with the muscles in my throat instead of letting the air do the work Dr. Chang confirmed that I have more than adequate breath support to sing as I wish so I have no reason from that stand point to be using the muscles to do the work.



According to Dr. Changs website this can happen when there is a viral infection in the upper respiratory system and the person uses the muscles to compensate for the lack of breath and then once they start doing that they never go back to the non-compensating strategy that they picked up while sick. (this would be a reason not to talk or sing while hoarse or when you have a sore throat, you can pick up bad habits) So, I believe this is something I probably picked up during the tonsillitis and it became a bad habit that I never got over.



Then it was made much worse after I had my wisdom teeth out and my jaw locked. Even before the dental surgery I was scared that the change in my mouth would adversely affect my singing, I remember warning the dental surgeon several times to be as gentle as possible as I was an Opera singer. When I woke up and could not open my mouth at all and then formed a facial abscess I began to despair that I would never sing again. I have been tentative from that day forward in my singing. Add to that the fact that every time I would sing I would get sick it just seemed to confirm that I could no longer sing, even if only subconsciously, as I did not put the pieces together until a few weeks ago.

I was invited to a prayer group and everyone was so wonderful to all get together and pray for me and find out what the problem was and to ask God to heal me. God healed my voice that night. I have not had a sore throat since.

The cool thing is, because I went to the Dr I will get singing lessons as speech therapy and my insurance company will pay for them, apart from my co-pay, and I could not afford them on my own.

I intend to get the lessons even though I am healed because I am not trained and an untrained gift has not the power of the trained gift. So not only did God heal me, he was so wise in his timing he provided the expert training that I could not afford so that I will be able to reach more people with the gifts that he has given me.

I can hardly wait to see what else he has in store for me for I know this is only the beginning.

May the Lord Bless you and Keep you and bring you Peace!

God is so Cool

I still find it so amazing that I have been so blind to the things that should have been so obvious.

Like the fact that when I would get home every day to my apartment that was built in the early 70's I would get tired and always seemed to need to take a nap and would generally feel ill.

I was driving home from work one day last week and talking to God, thanking him for the wonderful day at work I had just had and the wonderful weather, when I started thinking about the fact that I was feeling wonderful, just as I had last Sunday after Church. I began to pray that God send his Angels and in Jesus name they would disband any evil spirits, residual negative or otherwise harmful residue left by so many years people passing through the complex where we live. Let all of the pain, fear, and anger left by people go away.

I wondered at first why I thought of this prayer and then I thought of the friends that I have that follow magic and druidic paths often have rituals where they will bless the house to have the negativity leave the house.

If the earth spirits could protect a home from negativity then God is no contest when it comes to protecting me and my home. Not only could God take care of all the negative garbage left in the area from all the years of who knows who and what has gone on in the apartments where we live he will do it just because I asked it in His name. For it is written; "You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." (John 14:14 NIV)

With this in mind I was inspired to also pray
God I ask you to send your Angels in the name of Jesus Christ to protect the people living at my housing complex. I know that you can not take away free choice and you can use adversity in the lives of people to bring them closer to you. I ask you though to send your angels to turn the anger aside if it is present so that something distracts the angry to re-direct the anger and the violence away from the innocent, and the not so innocent to minimize the damage as much as possible. Lord, I know you are never far from any of your children. I pray that this community begins to feel your presence more and more and that this becomes a place of safety and peace.

I continue to be supposed that I have never before thought to pray for such simple, yet important things. I have always been very sensitive to the emotions of other people and animals. I know that people can drain my good feelings and by going to church and singing songs, especially for God I generate positive feelings. Why did it never occur to me to ask God to protect me form the negative emotions and the feelings that drain me. If a Church can give you safe feeling of peace just by walking in the doors then why couldn't an apartment where you have not only heard people fighting and seen the police called out but know there have been years before you came and know nothing of it's history possibly not have negative baggage that God would be happy to take care of for you if we just ask?

As far as asking God to protect the kids and the abused that I know live in this community. I believe that God gave us free will and he has left it to us to ask him for help. I can't expect him to take away someones free will. That goes against his design for us. However, we can pray that the damage done by one persons free will is minimized when it is used against another person. We can pray that people find help when they need it. That they find God and come to a place of peace within themselves.

Since I first got this heads up from God and prayed that he clean up our neighborhood I have only had one day where I was totally wiped out and slept all day. Mike figured out why that was. He went outside and all the cars were green from the pollen and we had a major storm front come through. Other then that one Saturday I have had as much energy when I get home as I have had during the day and I no longer crash as soon as I get home.

Singing Frustration

I continue to get a sore throat every time I sing. I don't know what is going on. I even went to my favorite Dr. today and she is baffled. All she sees is maybe some allergy symptoms.

I am going to go to an Ear, Nose and Throat Dr. on Monday on my Dr.'s advice and see if he has any suggestions and to make sure that I am not doing any damage to my vocal chords.

The book I picked up "Natural Healing" has been really great and I feel really good other than the soar throat.

I want to thank Ken and Barbara for sending me to http://www.nutritionexpress.com/
They are so much more affordable than the local health food store. I really think that the acidophiles has been helping us both out in a major way.

Wedding Decorations

I have decided on a theme for the winter wedding.

We are going to have a candle light wedding with snowflakes made of beads and crystals.

We have made a couple of beaded snowflakes already and we plan to make some borax and sugar snowflakes with Malcolm as well.

I found that http://www.orientaltrading.com/ has some 6" Large Wire Snowflake Forms for making the beaded snowflakes. That is going to be so much easier than the frames that Mike and I tried to make this weekend on our own.

It was so funny (and a bit frustrating) as we tried to twist the wire together and make it stay in the form we wanted. Mike tried to melt the wire together in the middle with his torch and ended up with a nice spidery mess the first time.

The second one he made with the copper wire in the middle and using flux to get the wire to flow together nicely came out beautiful. I just don't think he wants to make a hundred or so for me when I can get 12 for $3.95 already soldered together. :)

I will put up some pictures of the ones we made soon.

Word for God

God is so incredible and mighty. I am so grateful to find that he has begun to move in the world and show that we are not alone and that He is not all about a set of rules. He is about love and about life. He wants to be loved and be first in our life. If we could only get beyond the arguments and the fear that the various religions have caused, as much as living in ignorance.

I feel that those who are totally ignorant of any religion are often better off than those who have been exposed to a religion or church that has a “virus” or “cavity” that is fear or pride, or one of the many of the other very real sins of the flesh, that are so easily taken up by man and make the followers of Christ look so bad to the ones we are trying to save.

I feel that pride and fear are the worst because we can smooth those over and make them look like other things that are good in our mind and use them against others. This drives people away from God and fellowship instead of bringing them closer to God.

How many of us have left the church because we were judged by the ones who were “Holier than thou”? Do you really think this was Gods plan? Of course not! That seems to me to be exactly what happened to Jesus with the Pharisees in his time.

You all know that I am not trained in theology. Anything that I give to you is from God by means of what I have read in the Bible, through the filter of the brain that He has given me, all of which is taken on the faith that began when I was but a child.

I admit that I have at times wandered away from God. I have turned my back on him and ignored him from time to time; allowed fear, pain, lust, anger, pride, despair, and greed to rule me. Those who know me well, know that even in those times when I turned my back on God, I knew and counted on the fact that he was there and waiting on me with open arms for me to return to him. I never lost my faith that He was there waiting for me. I am one of the lucky ones.
I know now that I would have lived such an easier life if I had never turned my back on God. If I had always stayed in His arms and followed his path and surrendered to his will. However, God gave me free will and when I asked to be allowed to go my own path, make my own mistakes and do my own thing. He did the one thing that every parent knows is the hardest thing in the entire universe to do for his child.

He allowed me to go; while he stood back and patiently waited for me to be ready to come back to him.

He didn’t berate me.
He didn’t use guilt treatments on me.
He didn’t yell at me.
He didn’t disown me.

He did send me reminders that he loves me
He did send his angels to watch over me
He did continue to answer my prayers when I chose to talk to him
He did send me word, when I was ready to come home, that he was waiting for me

When I came home to God,
He took me in with open arms.
He is restoring my Soul.
He continues to heal me daily.
He has forgiven me for all of my sins.
He has lead me to those who are able to help me grow closer to Him and understand the things that I have felt to be true from the time that I was a small child.

Yes, I know that was an ADD moment. However, I felt that it was important to share.

Now back to what I was saying about the cancer in the church that has caused this splintering into all these various factions, sects or denominations.

Now during the time of Jesus, He did go into the Temples (God’s house) to teach. He also taught on the mountains, in the streets, on the waters, in peoples houses, basically anywhere and everywhere he was. The Temples were close to God and were important to Jesus as God’s house because “Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.” (Mathew 21:12 NIV)

Jesus taught to the Jews, the Samaritans, the Romans, and everyone whom he came across. He did not confine his teachings to a single group and say “They have everything correct and all must follow them.” No. according to what I remember, when he was asked how can we be saved? “Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. (Mathew 16:24 NIV) and “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12 NIV) I truly believe this means that we are supposed to live our lives like Jesus did. Most of the churches today have caused more harm in those who are searching for God than good. Not all, I have come across many wonderful ministers full of the Holy Spirit and I have asked Jesus to help me remember that so much if what we find in church comes of man and man is weak.

There is a new movement where God is bringing about a revival and speaking to the open minded Souls who are open to the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is bringing together people of various denominations and showing us what God really wants. He is moving among us and he is powerful.

I am going to stop for now as I am feeling drained and I am running out of things to share. When God moves me to share more I will bring some more.

In Gods love

The Wedding Date is Set

The Best Man and the Matron of Honor have been asked; the clergy has cleared the date as good so it looks like the Wedding is set for Saturday, Dec 27, 2008.

Now to begin with all of the other minor details. The groom is still thinking about what he wants to wear. I have the dress designed and is shown below in rough draft. I will post with color later .

I want to add several small symbolic features to the ceremony and plan to have Mike help me put together a program so that everyone knows what the different traditions are about ad what they mean to us.

Adventures in Dental Work

Well Today has been one for the Dental books. I went to bed last night at about 6:30pm with a migraine that was out of this world and a vague idea that Mike had a tooth ache.

I woke up at 10:30 pm needing food and a still had the migraine. Mike is on the computer and fixes me food and mentions that his tooth really hurts.

I wake up at 2:30 am and the migraine seems better. No Mike, he is out on the computer, seems he can't sleep because his tooth is killing him. He has an appointment to get it looked out but who knows if they will do anything about it or just refer him to someone else. We have to love the insurance companies and how they work.

The alarm goes off and it is now 7:20 am and Mike in major pain from the broken tooth and it is wiggling around in his head. We have both had it with all of the run around from the dental office so we decide to go to the Dental School up in Maryland to have the thing pulled out by the emergency center up there.

So we call into work, grab the directions off the net and pile into the car for a road trip. I have my music going from IHOP-KC Mike is trying to deal with everything on only an hour and a half of sleep and the drive to Baltimore is pretty uneventful.

We get to the school district. Don't know how many of you have ever been to Baltimore but the signs and the parking are crazy. I drop off Mike to go sign in at the Dental Emergency room and set off to find a place to park. I am so not parking on the street and after going up and down a few one way street I find a parking garage. Great, I pull in and start the around and around game. No parking on the first two floors. No problem there is always parking further on. This garage goes down instead of up, novel idea, accept I think I have reached the bottom and there is still no parking. Okay, so I start back up, maybe I will find some on the up side. Everything is color coded and has different fish on different levels, didn't I just pass a blue sea bass? Okay, there is the correct ramp for up. I get to the attendant and let her know that the lot is full. It is a good thing she doesn't charge me as I only have $2 cash as I was planning to find an ATM at or on the way to the clinic. I am soooo glad that God provides and watches out for me.

The nice lady gives me directions to the next lot and the valet stops traffic to let me out. I get to the new lot with out error and find a parking place and get everything settled and they even have business cards so you can remember which garage you are in. I am even good to pull out a pen and write down 5S where I am parked. Good for me. Time to take the elevator down and go find Mike. I am sure he is all checked in and ready to be taken care of by the fine students. Now just to find him as I have no Cell phone. The Dental school can't be that big and God is with me so I am sure I will have no problem at all.

I see lots of wonderful flags on the sidewalks that tell you which Baltimore School is where and as I thought it is not hard at all for me to figure out which direction I need to go to get to the Dental School. Off I go and the walk is down hill, life is good. About half way down the hill I see someone that looks like Mike to me standing out on the sidewalk in front of what I believe is the Dental building. Problem I wonder? Nah, It is just going to be a little while so he thought he would come out and wait for me so I would not get lost, how sweet. How wonderful he is. It is all over cast out but it is a wonderful day and Mike is going to get his tooth fixed and will be out off pain. Everything is wonderful.

I get to about a block and a half from the Dental School and Mike spots me and starts towards me. He does not look happy. I kind of look a question at him. He says, "They are all full"

In confusion I sputter "Do what? No, let me go talk to them."

"They open at 7 am, it is a first come first serve and everything the emergency, the clinic, everything is already booked. I already fussed at them here and there is nothing you can do. I have a 2pm appointment with the Dr back in Manassas" he replies.

I take a deep breath as he strides past me back up the hill the way I just came from. Okay, so this didn't work out the way I thought it would. After slowing him down so I could keep up we make it to the top of the hill and go in search of an ATM. I still only have the $2 on me and it is $4 for up to an hour for parking. Fortunately the next block up has a Starbucks and at this point I want a green tea frappachino and what do you know right next door is an ATM.

Frappachino and Cash in hand we head back to the parking lot. I have not been gone long enough to forget which garage I am in so I didn't really need to business card but it is nice to know that I parked at 5S. We take the elevator to the 5th floor. We get out of the elevator and see 5N, so the car should be close.

It turns out that 5S is for 5-South and we are at 5-North. If we go up the ramp we go to 6-North. We go down the ramp a little and see 4-North and a wire fence. As we look across the wire fence I can see 5-South but I can't see a way to get to it accept for across the wire fence. This may be because I have already had an asthma attach and I am not thinking well but it seems like the best and only thing to do is climb over the fence. So my brave champion Mike, who is also not thinking clearly with all of the pain, climbs the fence and holds my purse and green tea so I can climb after him. Let's hear it for the tom boy that this was accomplished with no embarrassing incidents. Now that we are in the correct area we are able to make it to the car and head back towards Virginia.

As we get onto the freeway I mention how sweet the Green tea is and offer some to Mike who tries some after much discussion of what the ice may do to his sensitive tooth. Oddly enough the ice seems to give the pounding a moment of pause so he tries several more sips and this gives him another odd feeling that he can't seem to describe and wonders if it has to do with the Green Tea.

This reminds me of Oil of Cloves the wonderful, yet strong and tasty, tasty stuff the dentist uses if you have a dry socket. When we get back to town we have about 45 min before the Dr apt so I decide to stop by the CVS and see if they have some of the wonder drug of the orient called Oil of Cloves. Nope, but they do have liquid Advil, extra strength, ambesol, and something called Red Cross Toothache with 85% eugenol. I pick these up and Mike immediately bites a Advil liquid cap so that all the liquid flows all around his throbbing tooth. *Shudder* This seems to hold him until we get home. Once we get home I open the Red Cross Toothache, which is a bottle of liquid, Cotton tabs, and mettle tweezers. I smell the liquid and guess what? It turns out that eugenol is clove oil. :)

I fix up a nice cotton tab of clove oil for Mike to put on his tooth. There is a bit of fumbling and well lets just say a couple of tabs latter Mike finally puts one in his broken tooth.

Now you may not know this but, Mike HATES cloves. As I watch from the bathroom door expecting to see relief cross his face all I am getting is this face like he smells something foul and he is drooling like a great Pyrenees about to get a turkey sandwich. He tells me his mouth is burning and he can't take it anymore and reaches for the tweezers to remove the offending tab of clove oil. Now I feel terrible because not only is he in pain but his mouth tastes terrible and I think what could get rid of the cloves he hates?

Listerine!!

So I tell him to rinse his mouth with the Listerine honestly thinking this will help.

Mike grabs the Listerine and proceeds to spew minty green all over the sink area of the bathroom. "What possessed you to suggest Listerine" Mike chokes.

At this point I have stumbled to the bedroom because I am laughing so hard and don't want him to know and be hurt that I am laughing at him.

He follows me thinking I am crying because he barked at me so I have to fess up that I am to busy laughing to be upset at which point he begins to give me detailed descriptions of what the effect of oil of cloves and Listerine together have on the senses and that I have no right to complainer about anything not being seasoned correctly and that this more than makes up for the wasabe in the green tea thing he did to me when I had the massive sinus infection and could not breathe(I will admit it cleared my sinuses, as well as my stomach contents). At this point I am just trying to catch my breath as I am laughing so hard.

We finally make it to the dentist and they are nice and kind of trying to get me to move my dental work over to there office as we get ready to see the Dr. The Dr comes in and takes a look at his tooth and finds out we have been to Baltimore and back already and says you can get a tooth out anywhere on a Friday afternoon. Oh, if only that were true. He goes out to do something and the receptionist comes in she has found Mikes insurance and the Dr will take out the tooth for $125. WOO HOO. Mike is over joyed, I am so happy. The Dr comes in and applies Novocaine to Mike and lets him sit. The Dr has like 4-6 nurses and rooms going and only him so he is very busy and juggling all of this well. They come in several times to ask Mike how he is doing to the point that he is really surprised. I think it is because he growled at them before.

They gave him another shot just before they started to take out the tooth and it was still pretty painful, but kind of cool to watch. The top part of the tooth ended up breaking off just below the gum line where it had a cavity the went almost all the way through. The root was really cool as they used a slender tool and drilled it up from the side almost like a nail that has lost the nail head. They showed us the abscessed portion that was still intact and connected to the root before they wrapped it up and gave it to Mike. They also gave him a prescription for Vicodin.

We get to the front counter and go to pay for the extraction and they tell us how lucky we are as the Dr has just come from the Philippenes and joined the practice. He is the only Dr at the practice who is willing to do a tooth extraction. He did so many in the Philipenes that it is just no big deal.

God works in misterious ways and sometimes we go around in circles but in the end God does work and the tooth is gone and Mike is happy in Vicodin land. :)

Books I am reading

I am currently rading some wonderful books given to me by a co-worker as well as some that I found on the internet.

Time out for an ADD moment --have you all heard of the software for keeping track of your library? it is at collectorz.com and it is so cool. You put in the ISBN number and it will go out on the internet and get all kinds of info on the book and you can track where you are storing the book and who you lent it to etc. They also make a version for movies and music, etc.

anyway..

I am reading

Fire Of Gods Love: - Seguel to the Fire of Delayed Answers
by Bob Sorge
ISBN: 9780962118548

I am also reading every day and plan to share

His Princess: Love Letters From Your King
Prayers and devotions by Sheri Rose Shepherd
Multnomah Books (2004)
ISBN 9781590523318

This beautiful four-color book opens the eyes of women to see themselves the way God sees them. Many don't even know that they are daughters of the King - chosen to be His Princess. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, they trade in their fairy-tale dreams of being cherished for a tarnished identity fashioned by their own insecurities and the mixed-up messages of the media. Now, these tenderly adoring letters written from God's persepective demonstrate that every woman is beautiful just the way she is. Walking in confidence toward her God-given purpose, every woman can bless others - even future generations.

I will tell you a little later about the wonderful fiction series that I just consumed. It was wonderful!!

God Bless

Mission

This is a blog about the marvelous things happening in my world. It all started when God came up and tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me that I had not been paying as much attention to him as he would like. He did this in a very 2x4 theory way that we all need now and then. Yes, even those of us who are not heavy fighters, and me especially. He sent a co-worker into my office with a message for me. The message is as follows:

Airplane

Trust me and you will soar, otherwise you will be grounded. You were created for much more than you allow yourself to believe. Ask of me what I have planned for you. You can be a pilot, but only if I am your co-pilot. I have a mission for you if you will surrender to me. I know you want to fly and you can, but only in my arms. I love you and want more for you than what you have settled for. All you have to do is ask and surrender.

From that moment on I have felt so much joy and peace as I have begun to really re-connect with God and ask him about his plans for me. I want to share my joy and my journey with the whole world and especially with those I love.

May you all feel the peace in your and love in your life that I have been given in mine.