I started college to be a voice major, opera to be exact as it was the closest thing to the kind of music that I sang growing up in the Lutheran Church and that is when my voice sounds the most beautiful and it is what I love. About a year and half into college I was getting sick all of the time to the point that they removed my tonsils. Even after the operation I still had issues with my throat. Add in several other incidents and a rebellious stubborn nature I ended up quitting school and pretty much throwing that part of my life away.
Now 20 years later I decided to start singing for God again.
To my utter dismay as soon as I started singing I got a sore throat and became horribly sick. I let my throat heal, if you have ever taken singing you know you don’t sing with a sore throat you could do permanent damage, and then I tried again a few days later and I got another soar throat, though this time I did not get so sick. I started to ask God what was going on. I knew deep in my soul that I was supposed to sing for God. So I started to look back over my life and I talked to a friend in the Church who asked if I had ever been cursed or anything. As I talked to her and I began to realize that over the last 20 years every time that I started to sing something would happen to my health that would cause me to quit and doubt my ability to sing more and more.
I made an appointment with my Dr. to find out what was going on with my throat. My father died of interstitial lung disease, a genetic strain of the disorder, so I am cautious of anything that could affect my lungs especially as I have had so many horrendous bouts of bronchial pneumonia and deal with asthma already.
When I went to the Dr., she could not find anything that was not allergy related so she recommended that I go see an ear, nose, and throat Dr. and she happened to know one that specializes in singers.
What I found out at the ENT was that I had sMTD (Supraglottic Muscle Tension Dysphonia). Well, that is what the Dr. called it. *Shrug* As soon as Dr. Chang, the ENT, explained what sMTD was and how it worked I knew right away what it really was. It was fear. Basically it means that I am trying to sing with the muscles in my throat instead of letting the air do the work Dr. Chang confirmed that I have more than adequate breath support to sing as I wish so I have no reason from that stand point to be using the muscles to do the work.
According to Dr. Changs website this can happen when there is a viral infection in the upper respiratory system and the person uses the muscles to compensate for the lack of breath and then once they start doing that they never go back to the non-compensating strategy that they picked up while sick. (this would be a reason not to talk or sing while hoarse or when you have a sore throat, you can pick up bad habits) So, I believe this is something I probably picked up during the tonsillitis and it became a bad habit that I never got over.
Then it was made much worse after I had my wisdom teeth out and my jaw locked. Even before the dental surgery I was scared that the change in my mouth would adversely affect my singing, I remember warning the dental surgeon several times to be as gentle as possible as I was an Opera singer. When I woke up and could not open my mouth at all and then formed a facial abscess I began to despair that I would never sing again. I have been tentative from that day forward in my singing. Add to that the fact that every time I would sing I would get sick it just seemed to confirm that I could no longer sing, even if only subconsciously, as I did not put the pieces together until a few weeks ago.
I was invited to a prayer group and everyone was so wonderful to all get together and pray for me and find out what the problem was and to ask God to heal me. God healed my voice that night. I have not had a sore throat since.
The cool thing is, because I went to the Dr I will get singing lessons as speech therapy and my insurance company will pay for them, apart from my co-pay, and I could not afford them on my own.
I intend to get the lessons even though I am healed because I am not trained and an untrained gift has not the power of the trained gift. So not only did God heal me, he was so wise in his timing he provided the expert training that I could not afford so that I will be able to reach more people with the gifts that he has given me.
I can hardly wait to see what else he has in store for me for I know this is only the beginning.
May the Lord Bless you and Keep you and bring you Peace!
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